Since last May I’ve met a few hundred wonderful people. I met them in treatment. If you’ve read my previous entries, my name Is Angela and I’m an alcoholic. March was my third visit to the facility in less than a year. I hope I get this right this time.
I am very messed up by this whole addiction thing. Addiction truly wants us dead. PERIOD. Out of the few hundred people I’ve met, I’d estimate that at least ten have passed away. I’m not sure If all of the deaths were due to addiction or not. I respect the families who have lost their loved ones and just write a short condolence and think of a memory of them, when I see another RIP post. Most of these people range from the ages of early 20s to 30 something. Everytime I sign onto social media and I see one of those posts my heart drops.
This really makes me realize that I might not have another relapse in me, I’m too mature to be going through this thing I call insanity over and over again, and I need to get my shit together and take this totally seriously.
From my understanding in AA and NA, you have to want to stay sober for yourself. I think that’s a little black and white. What I’m trying to say is yes I am in recovery for myself, but I am also doing this for my family.